Alive But Different
by into.the.void
Summary: Jesse is alive, but now that he is, he can't be around all the time. Is that a bad thing? It is with Paul Slater nearby. Disclaimer:I do not, nor have I ever, own any of the storylines or characters connected to the Mediator. They belong to Meg Cabot.
1. Happy

Jesse. The love of my life. And now, I'm the love of his. His life, I mean. Because now he has one.

"Susannah, are you just going to sit there and stare at me? Do you want another iced tea?" I looked around. I could tell by the face of the waiter, and all of my friends sitting at the table around me, that I had been day dreaming.  
"No. Thanks. I'm good." With a shake of his head the waiter left. I sunk back down comfortably into my chair and looked out at the beach. It was a beautiful day, and life just couldn't get better. I was having lunch with my two best friends, Adam and Cee Cee, who, as of two weeks ago, are a couple. Oh, and Jesse. My boyfriend. But that's not the best part about it. It's that Jesse is here, in public, and people can see him. He's drinking a coke, and laughing with my friends. He's wearing a calvin Klein tee shirt and jeans, though I do miss seeing those abs. He's finally alive. Not a ghost. I'm not the only one that can see him. Everyone can. We can finally live our lives together. And be seen, together. It's like I'm basking in never ending sunlight, neverending hapin-  
"Geez Suze, sometime I think you're just zoned out. Like you're here, but not really. I mean you did come out to eat with us to be with US, right? Not your subconscience?" Cee Cee looked at me, annoyed.  
"Yes, I came out to hang out with you, I just got a little side tracked"  
"A little side tracked? You looked like you were about to plop your face down, right into the salsa." Adam chuckled as Cee Cee swated at him.  
"Susannah, is everything alright?" Jesse looked at me worriedly. He new that when I day dreamed it usually meant something bad was coming. But not this time.  
"I'm fine. Everything's okay." I smiled, putting my arm around his waist, scooting my chair towards his. He smiled back. The rest of lunch went well,the day getting better and better. After a walk on the beach, we split with Adam and Cee Cee, and I walked Jesse back to the rectory, where he was meeting Father D to dicuss his getting in to Medical School. After a light kiss goodbye I walked back to my house.  
Once inside I plopped down on the bed. After about ten minutes of flipping through a magazine, there was a knock on my door. It was David, come to tell me that someone had come by earlier, asking for me. He said he didn't give his name, but handed me an envelope. It had my name, Suze, written on it. I said thanks and closed the door behind him, ager to find out waht was inside. It was pretty heavy. I cut open the edge and dropped the contents onto my bed. My breath caught in my throat as I saw the glint of the metal belt buckle. The belt buckle that was shaped in the letter D. The same belt buckle that Paul had used to travel back in time to kill Jesse, or to save his life. With it there was slip of paper. On it ther was one word. Soon. 


	2. Soon

Soon. It was just one word, but it was enough to make my stomach crawl. What did this mean? It had to be Paul. Paul was the only one that had the belt buckle. What did he mean by soon? He said that it was over, that he didn't want _us _to happen. He said he was okay with Jesse. He said he was done. What is he going to do? To me. To Jesse.

"Jesse! Jesse, come here! I need you, now!" I waited. Then I realized he couldn't hear me. He's human. He doesn't have the ghostly senses anymore. I have to go find him. I have to tell him. I ran down stairs, tucking the note and the belt buckle into my back pocket. On the last step, I ran into Brad, who was on his way up to his room with what looked like a turkey sandwich. To upset to banter, I lowered my head and kept walking. Brad didn't seem to get the message, though.

"Where are you going?" He asked. "You know Dad'll kill you if you missed dinner."

"It's four thirty, pinhead, and what do you think Andy will say about you eating a sandwich right before fajita night?" Without waiting for an answer, I opened the front door and walked over to the driveway, picking up Mom's keys as walked by the table. She and Andy are out shopping somewhere. I'd have to get the car back before they got home, which gave me about forty-five minutes to talk to Jesse. What would he say when he found out Paul was up to something again. Probably nothing. He'll probably laugh at me for overreacting, like he always does. But not this time, this time I'll make him listen. I got to close to loosing him last time he underestimated Paul.

I drove for the six minutes it took me to get from my house to Jesse's new place, a small one room apartment in the bad end of Carmel. The bad end meaning there's only one pool and Jacuzzi in the complex. I hit the buzzer and heard the familiar Spanish accent say, "Yes?"

"Jesse, it's me. Can I come up? I really need to talk to you." I heard the sound of the gate unlocking and took the steps two at a time up to the next floor. Down the hallway, two doors from the end, I saw him open the door and pull a shirt on. I wonder what he had been doing. That became obvious, when I saw that his hair was unkempt and his eyes were red.

"Sleeping?" I said, forgetting my reason for being there. "In the middle of the day? Did we wear you out?"

"No, Querdida, I was just resting my eyes. I've been studying more for the big test. You sounded worried, is everything alright?" That made me remember.

"Oh, Jesse. It's Paul. I think he's up to something again. I just got this; David said someone dropped it off while I was gone." I pulled the buckle from my pocket. Jesse's eyebrows rose when he saw it. They went up higher when I got out the note.

"Soon? What does that mean?"

"I don't know, Jesse. But it sounds like Paul is up to his old tricks. What do you think we should do?" I looked into his eyes, hoping he had some idea. But the way he looked back at me made my stomach knot up all over again. He was amused.

"Susannah, I'm not afraid of Paul Slater. Let him do whatever he wants, it won't bother me. And it shouldn't bother you either. He's just trying to get you scared. It's what he's always trying to do. It's what he will always do, unless you ignore him and he leaves."

"But Jesse, that's the same thing you said last time he did something like this. And look what hap-"

"Look what happened. I'm fine. Better than fine, actually. I would think you would be happy, now that we can be together." He sounded somewhat hurt, which was not the reaction I was going for.

"Don't be that way. You know I'm happy. As happy as I'll ever be. I love you, Jesse, and now everyone can see that. I'm overjoyed." I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a hug. He bent down and kissed me, lightly, but enough to show me he felt the same way. I pulled back, realizing that I was probably going to be late if I didn't get home soon.

"Come visit me tomorrow," he said, his hands lingering on my waist. "I have something I want to show you."

"That sounds intriguing. I do have to get going, Mom'll kill me if she finds out I took the car. See you tomorrow." I turned around and opened the door, smiling at him over my shoulder as I walked away. If he didn't think there was anything to worry about, then I won't let him think I'm worrying. But if he's not going to do anything about Paul, then you better be sure I will.


	3. Staying Out Late

The next day was slow moving. I'm not a morning person, as my mother loves to point out. I woke up at eight thirty, when Andy yelled that he needed to talk to me. What was that about? I got out of bed and, not bothering to put on a robe, went downstairs in my tank and boxers.

"I've been meaning to talk to you." He said, looking at me over the rim of his coffee mug. It was quiet, Mom must already be out to work, and the teenage guys must still be in bed. Why had he gotten me up so early, don't I need my beauty sleep too?

"I want to talk to you about Jesse. I've noticed you've been going out to see him a lot, sometimes not with our permission." He nodded out the window at the car. Busted.

"I haven't told your mom, and I'm not going to. I know what it's like to be a teenager. But I am going to have to ask you not to go on any more midnight trips, keep meetings to daytime and evenings. And you need to tell us when you're going, and whom you'll be with. You're only 16 Suze. And you have a tendency to get into trouble. I just don't want your mom to worry anymore." He looked sincere.

"Okay, but I already promised Jesse I would meet with him toni-" I broke off, thinking of a better idea.

"-This afternoon. I promised to meet him this afternoon. We're going to dinner and a movie, so I won't be home until late." There, that would give me enough time to snoop around and find out what Paul is up to. Then I can meet Jesse when I was originally planning to, 6:00. Then I'll be home and Mom and Andy will think I was safe with Jesse the whole time. Everyone is happy. Everyone except Paul. By the time I'm done with him, he'll rethink this whole 'Soon' plan of his.

"Okay, but in the future, ask us first. I might have had a dinner planned. If you guys need to see each other so often, why don't you ask him to dinner more? We don't see him a lot, and he seems like a nice boy." Andy smiled.

"I'll do that." I said, backing away. "But in the mean time, I have a date to get ready for. And some sleep to catch up on." I went back upstairs and plopped down on my bed. Sleep.

I didn't get much though. About half an hour later, at 9:30, David got up. Followed by Brad. Why do I live with guys? Why did my mom half to marry someone with three boys? They have no respect for others. The light from the bathroom across the hall shined in my eyes as David turned the water on to brush his teeth. Brad yelled down the stairs at Andy to see if breakfast was ready. I guess I was getting up too.


	4. Someone Else

Chapter 4

Someone Else 

A/N I'm soooooo sorry! I haven't posted anything new in ages! And I left you all hanging! I guess I got really busy with reading other people's fics and I didn't get back to writing. I know what it's like to wait for a story, and now I've done that to you guys. Sorry! I'll try to make this chapter good to make up for my long absence; we'll finally get to see Paul! Oooh, I'm so excited…that is, if anyone is even reading anymore…well, those of you that are I hope you like it! Elisa

PS Did I mention I was sorry?

Sunshine. It would be nice if I wasn't in such a bad mood. But now rays of light that should grace the rest of my walk to Paul Slater's house are beating down on the back of my bare neck like I'm sitting under a heat lamp. I knew I should've left my hair down. As I rounded the corner of his block, I suddenly wished I had driven, because then it would have been easier to hide from Kelly, who was on her way to me.

"Suze? What are you doing here?" The question was asked accusingly, as if she thought I was here to steal Paul away from her.

"I was just coming by to ask Paul if he had seen my CD player, I think I might have left it in his room last time I was there." The excuse fell from my lips before I had a chance to think. I had just willingly told someone I had been in Paul Slater's room. Not just anybody, even, the girl with the biggest mouth I've ever met. Now by the time school started up again everyone on campus will think I'm one big slut who's been pretty close to Paul. Great. That's just what I need.

"Well I was just in there, in his room I mean. And I didn't see it anywhere. You can see the whole room when you're on the _bed _too, so I don't think I missed it." By the way she emphasized the word bed, I could tell something was up. She was being competitive; trying to show that she that she had been closer to Paul than I had. But I had no doubt that she would win that battle. A battle I would willingly lose to her. I nodded at her and said that I guessed he didn't have it. By the smug look on her face I could tell Kelly had realized she had won. She didn't register that I hadn't even fought her. While on any other day I would have loved to wipe that smile off her face with a few choice words, something was stopping me. I had more important things to deal with. My boyfriend's life, for instance. I went to walk past her, but she stepped in front of me.

"There's no need for you to see him anymore, I already told you, he doesn't have your CD player." She was trying to act like she didn't care, but I could here the fear in her voice. She didn't want me to even walk by his place. Probably afraid he would spot me and come running out to profess his undying love or something. I don't have time for this.

"Kelly, really. Maybe he doesn't have it, but I want to check anyway. It's not like I'm trying to steal your boyfriend or something. I have one of my own, remember?" I saw the jealousy cross her face as she did. Jesse was common knowledge of every girl in town, now. After being seen at the prom, he had become the talk of the town. Choice gossip for every female at school.

With a loud _hmmff_, Kelly stalked gracelessly away, trying to stomp her flip-flops as loud as she could. I turned; sighing as the sad little sounds receded. The Slater house was large and protruded into the otherwise very warm street. It's cold windows and white paint clashed with the heat that was Carmel weather. I didn't belong. Neither did Paul.

Before I could ring the doorbell, the door opened. I retracted my hand, and stared up into the twin dark pools that are Paul Slater's eyes. They were filled with amusement.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Suze Simon, standing on my doorstep. And so soon after our breakup." He smiled, taking a step back to let me in.

"We didn't break up Paul, we were never going out. I just came buy to ask you if you've seen my CD player." I said innocently. I was sure Kelly was standing just around the corner.

""CD player, huh? Tell me Suze, are you the only one on earth that doesn't have an iPod yet? I mean really, music of the 21st century, get with it." He continued the façade until the door was securely closed and then he led me into the kitchen. I got right to the point.

"What the hell is this?" I asked, pulling the belt buckle out of my back pocket. He stared at it incoherently for what seemed like a lifetime, and then looked blankly up at my face. He looked back to the buckle.

"Since when did I give you permission to go through and _steal _my things? That's real low, even for you."

"Low? For me? What are you talking about? If one of us has ever been low, it was you." I took a deep breath, getting back to the point.

"I didn't steal this from you, Paul, it showed up on my doorstep. One of you're little minions dropped it off with a note that said Soon. Ring any bells?" I looked at him, trying to catch any sign that he was lying. I couldn't see one.

"I didn't send it to you. It's gotta be a look-alike." He went upstairs, two at a time, and I heard him open the door to his room. Following, I took the stairs a little slower. I forgot that it was such a long walk to Paul's house and my feet were killing me. Pushing the door open further, I saw him going through his things. He was becoming desperate, throwing things down on the floor, breakable things, as if they didn't mean anything.

"I don't understand. It was right here." He looked up at me wildly, and I stepped back. Why was he so concerned to have it missing? He was overacting. He had to have sent it. Who else would want to?

"Paul, stop messing with me, I know you sent it. So just tell me what you're planning. What doe 'Soon' mean?" I looked him in the eye.

"Suze, I didn't send you that note. Or the buckle. I've had enough of the whole ass kicking from Rico Suave thing. I'm over it. Over you. You need to get that into you're pretty little head. I'm done with you walking all over me." He started pushing everything on the floor over to the side as he made his way over to the bed. He sat down on it, looking dejected and lonely on the huge boat of a thing. Leave it to Paul to make me feel sorry for him. I should be yelling at him, but all I really want to do is to make him feel better. How whacked is that? Damn it.

"Well, if you didn't do it, then who did? No one else knows about Diego, or any other part of Jesse's past. Even if someone did, why would they care? I mean, you only did those things to get to me." I crossed the room and sat on the bed next to him, but not to close. I had no feelings towards him anymore, but still, I didn't want to give him the wrong impression.

"I don't know. But Suze? I want to help. Give me a chance to redeem my self to you and ….you. I don't want you to hate me anymore. And I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt when I could put a stop to it." I gave him a look.

"Okay, when I could have put a stop to it without putting myself in danger." He gave me a brilliant smile, one that should have melted my heart. But I remember the last time he gave me a smile like that.

"Paul, I really appreciate that you want to help, but I just don't think I can trust you anymore. I mean, you tried to kill my boyfriend. Twice. And you almost killed me. Twice. I just don't think I can have you helping me for a little while, at least until I know you're intentions are good."

"But this is a chance for you to see that I really mean well. You know you need my help. I bet Rico doesn't even think it's worth talking about, let alone work to stop it. I'm all you got. Plus, who can resist working late nights with yours truly?" He took one look at my face and reconsidered.

"Except maybe you. What do you say? We gonna take on the secret admirer or what?" I looked at him, trying to gauge out sincerity. It was there. And I sort of believed him. But Jesse wouldn't like it, and I didn't want to upset him.

"I'm sorry Paul, but I can't take you're help. Tell you what, if I have a question you're the second person I'll come to. Beat out only by Father D. What do you say to that, huh?" He looked disappointed' but nodded.

"I guess Rome wasn't built in a day." He stood, waiting for me to lead the way out. I didn't stop until I was out of the front door, amazed that I had just made a visit to the Slater house and didn't want to run away at the end. Maybe he really has changed.

"Oh, and Suze? Kelly? No where near as good of a kisser as you." I turned just in time to see his smirk before slammi'ng the door. I can't believe him!


End file.
